Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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