life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
