It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
