we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
