she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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