No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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