haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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