I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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