butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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