True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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