Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
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Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
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Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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