just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
