Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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