I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize