For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
