youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
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We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
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His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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