I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
