the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
