Already got asked if we're dating
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
