he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
