woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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