can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
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Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
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