Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
