If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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