Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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