We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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