First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
