Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
