We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
