I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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