I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
