I cockslap morals
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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