Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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