that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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