Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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