those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
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