she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
