For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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