its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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