Do you still have your period?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
please come you make the beer taste better
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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