literally had 100 drinks last night.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
