As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
a search helicopter?!
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
