I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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