im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
