there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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