My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
