it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
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My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
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Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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