Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Please don't give away my fajitas
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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