Acid is not a monday night drug
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
