Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
