Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
