need another drink. this is the easiest way
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
