Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
