never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
