if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
they need to just BURY HIM!
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
